Master Guardian Angels

One day it did turn up. It more than turned up. It walked in and sat down in a booth next to him.

What he suspected was that angels ate at Earl’s, but he didn’t have the proof he wanted. That does not mean he hadn’t been trying to get proof, though. In fact, he had started looking for proof that these two men were actually angels just about two weeks before, and it so happened that his research showed that Earl’s Grill fit the profile of a good place to look. And since he was seeing Miriam anyway, it was convenient for him to be there often, in case they showed up. Bonus.

It is not common knowledge, but the verifiable fact is that we all have two guardian angels. Most people believe that each of us has one guardian angel, and in the beginning of the guardian angel program, one angel per person worked fine. Then came exponential population growth. It soon became clear that a training program was needed to prepare the new guardian angels all the new people needed.

So God started assigning two angels per person: a Master Guardian Angel, or MGA, and an apprentice. Angels consider it a great honor to enter the apprentice program; in fact, they have been known to lobby for assignment to the best MGAs.

Since the start of the apprentice program, the MGAs have grown accustomed to enjoying a fortunate side benefit. Some of you may not believe it, but the honest truth is that even angels need a break from time to time, and it just so happens that an apprentice can fill in perfectly during the slow times, like when we humans are sleeping. While the apprentices keep watch, the MGAs take the opportunity to socialize with each other, sometimes getting together for coffee and conversation.

One place they like is Earl’s Grill. Harding noticed early on that they drink the coffee but they don’t rave about it, just like most Earl’s customers. They also usually order the biscuits and gravy, and no one minds if they stay after they’ve eaten, so they do. They like to trade stories about how they saved their humans from themselves during the day, or reminisce about famous personalities they looked after in the past.

They enjoy the hospitality at Earl’s.

At first, Harding thought it would be easy to find Master Guardian Angels. He thought he could just hang out with Miriam at the coffee shop and wait for some angels to walk up and introduce themselves. Bad news for Harding: That’s not how it works. The MGAs learned long ago that most people cannot handle meeting angels, so they dress up to look like regular folks. That way, they avoid the constant bother of questions like “Which NFL team is really God’s favorite?” and “What’s the next hot stock?” and “How can I get more chicks to dig me?”

Harding had to figure out how to spot them for himself, and to do that he had to research a hunch. For those readers wondering where he looked to find out how guardian angels work, Harding won’t say. He will say that it is easy to the point of silly, but that’s all he will say about it.